Friday, June 29, 2007

I'm officially old...

Forget the daily checking for reoccurring whiskers that have no defined arrival time. Meaning one day they are not there, that same evening they are 2 inches long....wtf is up with that?
I just got this new job at big corporate. I needed new work shoes.
The Cube Monkey just paid $90...yes Ninety U.S. Dollars for a pair of comfortable sandals made of cork, leather and rubber. I almost crapped myself. Granted, I was treated like a queen by an elderly gentleman who actually measured my flintstone feet and chose about 6 pairs of shoes for me to try on that he thought I would like after telling him "need comfy shoes for work". He was good. He put the shoes on me, even fastened them for me. But 90 DOLLARS!!?? Doesn't that classify as rape or something? The husband feels that for $90 they should provide me with an orgasm every 10 steps. I agree and wouldn't that be sumpthin? hahaha

Stoopid Corporate Trick of the Week!

The honor goes to the Cleveland Clinic for this gem...

Cleveland Clinic Bans Hiring Of Smokers


Ok, I am a smoker. I totally agree that smoking is a nasty habit. It is the most useless addiction on the face of the earth. And I love it.
Here in Ohio, as in most states, smoking has been banned from most public places. Some places have designated smoke areas, but, for instance the hospitals, you cannot smoke ANYWHERE on the grounds. This is fine by me. It's a health thing, but whatever. Let me go on the record and say I don't agree with banning smoking in private clubs. I just think that's wrong. I mean, how's a gal supposed to enjoy an occasional evening at small town VFW drankin and playing tickets with the family without a smoke? Besides, if majority ruled with a vote by the members, why should the public care?
So back to this Cleveland Clinic thing.
This is not just a matter of you can't smoke at work. You can't smoke ANYWHERE. They are going to drug test for nicotine! They have also removed sugar laden soft drinks and transfats from their cafeteria - BUT you can still get a bacon and cheese crossiant there. And I'm willing to bet dollars for donuts (hee hee) that you will still find tons of vending machines throughout the campus.
So in a setting, where there is a shortage of staff anyhow, they are going to make it even "harder" to find quality nurses and such. In some of the most stressful jobs.
Most people are against this ruling. I would agree. In fact I'm against most of these drug testing things. I don't feel that it's anyone's business what you consume in the privacy of your home as long as it doesn't affect your job and your not consuming human flesh.
There are very few in favor of this. There was a woman that called into the radio the other day. Tried to support this ruling by talking about doctors with ashtray breath. How she remembers going to a few doctors with the most horrid ashtray breath.
I wish I had been one of the radio personalities that morning. I would have asked the woman,
How many kids do you think have puked on that doctor?
How many people do you think he has had to tell, you are dying?
How many stinky, yeast laden vagina's has he looked at?
How many crusty diabetes sores?

If he wants to go home and chain smoke a pack of cigarettes while downing a few shots of Jack, I don't care, as long as he is up to par to handle my health issues the next day.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Jessie Marie Davis

The Cube Monkey has been following this story pretty closely. I sat restlessly in my monkey cage at big corporate zoo on Thursday and Friday feeling helpless because I felt that I should have been down aiding in the search. I don't know why. I just wanted to "help".
So Friday night I had decided that if they were still going to be searching on Saturday I would go down to help. Alas an intestinal bug that had found it's way into Mr. Cube Monkey left me at home.
We have four dogs....yes...four. Two of them I took to the dog park Saturday afternoon. Whilst walking out the door, the furry ball of neurosis (more on him later) looked at me pathetically. "I will take you on your own walk on the wooded trail later" I told him.
So when I got back Crazy Boy was hooked up and we were off. We live within a hop, skip and a fart of a nice wooded trail that sits on the edge of a part of the Metro Parks. When we walk this trail I always look down the ravines. Why? Partially boredom, partially because I know it' s a good place to dump a body.
On our way back I noticed helicopters circling overhead again and again. They didn't stop.
I told Mr. Cube Monkey that the searchers must have changed their area. They had been searching about 45 minutes south of here. Within a 17 mile area of where Jessie was last seen.
The suspect was a cop, her boyfriend. Now I'm no genius, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to think that he would be smart enough NOT to dump the body close to home.
We turned on the TV. Her body was discovered about 20 minutes north of our house. In a part of the Metro Parks.
I told the hubby how Crazy Boy and I were looking down ravines and stuff "just because". He agreed and said he does that too when he takes the pups for walks down the trail.
Then my mouth opened wide when he said "I know that's the kind of place I would dump your body if I did you in". A nervous laugh escaped my throat. "Exsqueeze me?".
In the end, I informed him that TRUST ME, if you wanted me gone so badly that you wanted me dead, just tell me and I will be out the door "right quick and in a hurry".
Of course I would leave him the house, the 4 furry bottomless stomachs and the 13 year old attitude. =) Cuz I'm giving that way.

Friday, June 22, 2007

More on Paul Potts

I was so amazed at this Cinderella story that I was out again on You Tube watching and Googling my fat little fingers off.
Apparently Mr. Potts is...um...WAS a car phone warehouse manager. He lives in Port Talbot, Wales with his wife. And they are...um...WERE about $30k in debt.
In an interview he said that he was bullied as a child. Said he always felt different. His voice has always been his best friend. He said when he sings, it is the only time he feels "normal". When things are bad in life, he sings and it comforts him. I was in tears. I wasn't bullied much as a child, but my upbringing wasn't the most picture perfect on earth. The term "Mommy Dearest" fits quite well. I used to hole up in my room and sing sing sing. It was my comfort. I'm 44 and I've always felt different. I've never fit in. I am like Paul Potts in that when I'm on stage, I fit in. I'm normal. I'm "somebody".
Ok enough of my boohoo story.
Mr. Potts won $250,000 on Britain's Got Talent and has taken on a 1 million dollar recording contract. And he gets to perform for her majesty, the queen!
As stated in yesterday's post...
GO MAN! GO!!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

He works in a shoe store????

All I can say is "OMG" move over Pavrotti!..... SHIVERS

What does this dude have to do with this blog?
He's not LeBron James, he's not Justin Timberlake, he's not...well he's not someone who was instantly successful at a young age.
He's an ordinary, shy, low confidence, not so good looking (hell, I thought he looked kinda....uh...slow?) human who works in a shoe store or some crap mundane job like the Cube Monkey has and hidden away is a talent that only he and a select few others knew about. A talent that he knows is his true passion and calling. He mentioned in an interview that when he sings, it is the only place on earth where he feels 100% comfortable in his own skin. It's where he knows he belongs. It is his dream. It has always been his dream, but for whatever reason, it was never pursued. Low confidence, bad choices or whatever the reason.
It gives me chills to know that this man will never ever have to go back to crap work again, unless he so chooses.
Not many people get that opportunity.
GO MAN! GO!