Friday, May 23, 2008

Shock and Awe

I live in a different city than I grew up. So about twice a week I will go out to my hometown newspaper website and "catch up". At my age, I also read the obits.
Imagine my shock when the first name that popped up on the obit page was a gal that I was best friends with for about 10 years. We were inseparable.
We parted ways about 6 years ago. It was hard remaining close whilst living in different cities. Also, we both changed. I married, she didn't, but desperately wanted to. I had a child, she didn't, but desperately wanted one. I had gastric bypass and she was totally against it. More and more as we got together a coupla times a year, our conversations were filled with conflict.
Over the past few years I have been "maturing", hitting that age where you think about what matters and what doesn't. I thought about this gal many times and the stoopidity of our conflicts. I thought about all the wonderful times we spent together. There are very few people on this earth that I can sit and talk with and never run out of things to say and not bore the living hell out of me. After 10 or so years of friendship, we could still sit for 24 hours and just b.s. about everything and anything.
She was alot of fun, she had an infectious laugh, she was very smart, etc... and I missed her.
I attempted to contact her twice over the past year. She never responded. I guess we were beyond repair.
I don't know what killed her. All signs point to suicide, but I don't know.
Whatever it was, I am saddened more than I could ever imagine.

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