Thursday, August 28, 2008

Kindergarten vs. High School

So I've been reading this blog lately by this crazy little Indian woman in North Carolina (Hi Ilina!).
Her post yesterday made me think about something similar that I was going to write about regarding my day yesterday.
If you don't have time to read her post, in a nutshell, she took her little boy to his first day of Kindergarten.
I missed my son's first day of kindergarten 9 years ago. I was not able to get off of work. My husband took him and filmed the entire thing, including the almost mile walk. =)
I'm not sure if I'm thankful I missed it or not, although I think I cried just as hard because I "did" miss it.
Yesterday I took my son to his first day of High School. He was VERY nervous. I'm sure he was scared, although he kept saying he wasn't.
When I was his age, we lived in a rural area. Our High School had maybe 1400 kids in the school. My graduating class was a whopping 329 students and that was BIG for that school. The school was one level and sat in the middle of a cornfield.
When we went for orientation last week was when MY fear kicked in. My sons' school is an inner city school. 4 levels. I couldn't even tell you how many kids attend. Police and security guards walk the halls. I'm surprised they are not wanded and frisked by the TSA as they walk through the doors. Although I am thankful for all this security since my son was jumped last school year by some gangster wanna-be's.
As we walked the halls last week, I was wide-eyed. Amazed at the size of the building. Anxiety kicking me in the ass at every turn.
The other thing that was kicking me was realizing that this is the beginning of his major growing up. This is where he begins to decide what he wants to do in life. Where he begins to prepare for college. Where he will start to become a man. Again with the mortality crap. I am not aging gracefully.
My co-worker whom is in her 50's tells me that getting to the point of accepting your mortality is a long and very painful process, but once you get there, is really wonderful. It's that point in a womans life that all these women authors write about....re-inventing yourself. I remember telling my co-worker, "well, it sucks and I just reeeeally wish it would be over with". She laughed.
So, I worried all day, thinking about him standing in the middle of bustling hallways, looking at his schedule, looking at room numbers, getting lost, getting overwhelmed and his eyes welling up with those big tears. I worried as to whether he had someone to eat lunch with. Hoping he would meet up with some of his buds from middle school. My son is very much like me and doesn't have a big group of friends.
Arriving home from work I was excited to ask him about his day. After the conversation, my fears were squashed.
Me: So how was your first day of High School?
G: Good
M: Well, what happened?
G: Nothing
M: Did you find all your classes?
G: Yes
M: How was Chinese class (he was very excited that he got to choose Chinese)
G: Fine
M: Gee, can you elaborate a little on your first day of school?
G: (chuckle)
The end...

If you've never read the cartoon Zits, you should....

1 comment:

ilinap said...

It is so sweet that your husband videotaped the whole first day of kindergarten walk and all! I would never think to do that. Wow, high school has changed a lot since 1986 when I graduated from a tiny private school.

I just heard about this book called Guyhood on the Today Show yesterday. It chronicles what guys' lives are like from age 16-26 or so when they are guys instead of boys and men. You might check it out.

Congrats to your son on his journey!