Monday, October 29, 2007
Movement
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Anniversary
Not a day goes by that I don't think of him.
I was 12, 37 years ago today.
I remember I was new to Junior High. 7th grade. Scared to death as it was.
I was in class and the principal, Mr. McIntyre came to pull me out of class.
Our neighbor was there to pick my older brother and myself up.
Terry said nothing. We knew something was wrong.
We got home and there were cars in the drive. My mother on the couch looking dazed.
Our father had died, she said. The next 15 years would be pretty much a blur.
I usually remember this day every year. Some years hit me harder than others. Most years I hope I forget.
I recall a few days after he had died. It really hadn't hit us kids. We were sitting watching T.V. People were streaming in and out of the house. My mom never seemed to move from that spot on the couch for a week.
I recall the pastor of my grandmothers church saying to someone "It will be much harder in the years to come than it is today". I remember those words vividly. And he was right.
When I got married. When I had my son. A certain smell. A song.
My Dad was da bomb. He was the only person I've ever known to live each day as if it were his last. He told us he was going to die young. He knew it. He was 39.
As I sit here at the age of 44, I always remember the good stuff. I honestly don't recall any bad stuff when it comes to my father.
He introduced music to me. I recall getting off the bus after school, Led Zeppelin blaring on the stereo, the windows rattling. Walking in the house and him sweeping the floor, playing air guitar. Course I thought he was nuts. hahaha
He must have recognized my interest in music as I was the only one that he made sit on the floor with the Album cover to Days of Future Passed by The Moody Blues and pick out everything I could find. What I couldn't find, he would explain to me.
His music tastes varied from Classical, to Big Band to rock and roll...
My tastes are just as varied....from Blue Grass and Gospel to Heavy Metal. hahaha
My father loved life. He worked hard, loading trucks at night....and he played hard.
A life snipped short by an enlarged heart and his refusal to follow the doctors advice and slow down.
I learned alot from him. Alot of those lessons just recently coming into play as I realize mortality.
So this is my tribute to my father. Being old, or rather middle aged, what I think of most is like from that move "The 6th Sense" when all the mom wants to know from her mom is whether she makes her proud. I wish I knew...
Sunday, August 19, 2007
What are the odds?
NewsNet5.com
Freak Lid Accident Critically Injures High Schooler
Lid Flies 224 Feet
Friday, August 03, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
I don't get it...
I'm guessing these people have enough money to roll their pot in and smoke it.
At first I defended them by saying "they are young, single, rich...let them party...leave them alone". But now they are out partying and "driving"!!! Where's their limo? Where's their chauffeur? Jeeeezus Beeezus...call a friggen cab!
How selfish or as I stated above - 3 kinds a stoopid - can you be? All that money and people at their disposal and they feel the need to get behind the wheel with the possibility of killing someone.
I don't get it.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Meet Petey!

This is a Pitbull puppy. Her name is Petey. I rescued her and 4 of her brothers and sisters last Febuary. They were found in a box in an alley in week long below zero temperatures. They were starving. You could put your finger up to the first knuckle between their ribs. These pups were awesome. They have since all been adopted to loving homes by a Pitbull rescue in Northeast Ohio. It was the toughest litter I ever accepted in rescue. I was afraid I would make the wrong choice in their adoptions. That I would get snowed by someone and these little cuties would end up in the hands of someone like this. I still worry about them, but try to put it out of my head and trust in the rescue that I turned them over to.
Mr. Vick, they say that when a dog dies, it sits at the Rainbow Bridge waiting for it's owner to either cross over with them or take care of unfinished "business". I only pray that EVERY SINGLE PITBULL you ever owned and that died because of your actions is sitting there...waiting...with teeth bared...just for you.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Corporate buzz words
King of the Cubicle did a whole entry on the term "low hanging fruit". I had never heard of that, until the other day. hahaha An ENTIRE power point presentation was wrapped around this term. Yes, the term "low hanging fruit" appeared on every slide. It was all I could do not to giggle in a room of 200 I.T. folks. The term always makes me think of my husband. I dunno why.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Paradise
a glass of diet coke
a plate of king crab legs the size of a toddlers leg...
Only Maui and a million would be better...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Big Coorporate Stoopid
There is no other way to explain it.
There is no way a human being making that much money can possibly "normally" be that stoopid and infuriating.
I swear they are brainwashed after hiring to infuriate their underlings to the point of wanting to slowly and painfully hang themselves with a cat5 cable in the nearest router closet.
Friday, July 06, 2007
4th of July and Sleep
I recall waiting for over 12 hours in a hospital waiting room for her to be born. Needless to say, I'm feeling old.
My bro and sis in law had the grad party on the 3rd. Every 4th of July my bro and sis in law throw one humongous shindig. We're talking 100's of people. Tons of food. Tons of booze. Campers, tents, bonfire. The city sets off the fireworks pert near (hillbillie in the blood talk) in their backyard.
This year they had the party on the 3rd, which worked out good, cuz who wants to eat too much crap, drink too much alcohol, stay up till 4 a.m., sleep on a blow up mattress in a tent, just to get up and have to go to work the next day. No holiday should be on a weekday except for Monday or Friday. ha! Anyhow, the main reason they had it on the 3rd was because the city was setting their fireworks off on the 3rd. Why? Get this...they didn't want to pay their city worker double time for the holiday. CHEAP!!!
But it worked out great. Since it was a grad party and not just their annual 4th fest, all the relatives were invited. Relatives I hadn't seen in years! Friends I hadn't seen in years! I was really bummed that the night went by so quickly. I felt like a buzzed up social butterfly trying to catch up with everyone and still have a great time at the same time.
And yes, it's true...we fell asleep prolly about 4:30 a.m. on a blow up mattress in a tent.
And actually on the true 4th we slept with 3 shivering dogs (fireworks), one of which has legs like a giraffe.
4th of July holiday does NOT equal sleep....
Friday, June 29, 2007
I'm officially old...
I just got this new job at big corporate. I needed new work shoes.
The Cube Monkey just paid $90...yes Ninety U.S. Dollars for a pair of comfortable sandals made of cork, leather and rubber. I almost crapped myself. Granted, I was treated like a queen by an elderly gentleman who actually measured my flintstone feet and chose about 6 pairs of shoes for me to try on that he thought I would like after telling him "need comfy shoes for work". He was good. He put the shoes on me, even fastened them for me. But 90 DOLLARS!!?? Doesn't that classify as rape or something? The husband feels that for $90 they should provide me with an orgasm every 10 steps. I agree and wouldn't that be sumpthin? hahaha
Stoopid Corporate Trick of the Week!
Cleveland Clinic Bans Hiring Of Smokers
Ok, I am a smoker. I totally agree that smoking is a nasty habit. It is the most useless addiction on the face of the earth. And I love it.
Here in Ohio, as in most states, smoking has been banned from most public places. Some places have designated smoke areas, but, for instance the hospitals, you cannot smoke ANYWHERE on the grounds. This is fine by me. It's a health thing, but whatever. Let me go on the record and say I don't agree with banning smoking in private clubs. I just think that's wrong. I mean, how's a gal supposed to enjoy an occasional evening at small town VFW drankin and playing tickets with the family without a smoke? Besides, if majority ruled with a vote by the members, why should the public care?
So back to this Cleveland Clinic thing.
This is not just a matter of you can't smoke at work. You can't smoke ANYWHERE. They are going to drug test for nicotine! They have also removed sugar laden soft drinks and transfats from their cafeteria - BUT you can still get a bacon and cheese crossiant there. And I'm willing to bet dollars for donuts (hee hee) that you will still find tons of vending machines throughout the campus.
So in a setting, where there is a shortage of staff anyhow, they are going to make it even "harder" to find quality nurses and such. In some of the most stressful jobs.
Most people are against this ruling. I would agree. In fact I'm against most of these drug testing things. I don't feel that it's anyone's business what you consume in the privacy of your home as long as it doesn't affect your job and your not consuming human flesh.
There are very few in favor of this. There was a woman that called into the radio the other day. Tried to support this ruling by talking about doctors with ashtray breath. How she remembers going to a few doctors with the most horrid ashtray breath.
I wish I had been one of the radio personalities that morning. I would have asked the woman,
How many kids do you think have puked on that doctor?
How many people do you think he has had to tell, you are dying?
How many stinky, yeast laden vagina's has he looked at?
How many crusty diabetes sores?
If he wants to go home and chain smoke a pack of cigarettes while downing a few shots of Jack, I don't care, as long as he is up to par to handle my health issues the next day.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Jessie Marie Davis
So Friday night I had decided that if they were still going to be searching on Saturday I would go down to help. Alas an intestinal bug that had found it's way into Mr. Cube Monkey left me at home.
We have four dogs....yes...four. Two of them I took to the dog park Saturday afternoon. Whilst walking out the door, the furry ball of neurosis (more on him later) looked at me pathetically. "I will take you on your own walk on the wooded trail later" I told him.
So when I got back Crazy Boy was hooked up and we were off. We live within a hop, skip and a fart of a nice wooded trail that sits on the edge of a part of the Metro Parks. When we walk this trail I always look down the ravines. Why? Partially boredom, partially because I know it' s a good place to dump a body.
On our way back I noticed helicopters circling overhead again and again. They didn't stop.
I told Mr. Cube Monkey that the searchers must have changed their area. They had been searching about 45 minutes south of here. Within a 17 mile area of where Jessie was last seen.
The suspect was a cop, her boyfriend. Now I'm no genius, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to think that he would be smart enough NOT to dump the body close to home.
We turned on the TV. Her body was discovered about 20 minutes north of our house. In a part of the Metro Parks.
I told the hubby how Crazy Boy and I were looking down ravines and stuff "just because". He agreed and said he does that too when he takes the pups for walks down the trail.
Then my mouth opened wide when he said "I know that's the kind of place I would dump your body if I did you in". A nervous laugh escaped my throat. "Exsqueeze me?".
In the end, I informed him that TRUST ME, if you wanted me gone so badly that you wanted me dead, just tell me and I will be out the door "right quick and in a hurry".
Of course I would leave him the house, the 4 furry bottomless stomachs and the 13 year old attitude. =) Cuz I'm giving that way.
Friday, June 22, 2007
More on Paul Potts
Apparently Mr. Potts is...um...WAS a car phone warehouse manager. He lives in Port Talbot, Wales with his wife. And they are...um...WERE about $30k in debt.
In an interview he said that he was bullied as a child. Said he always felt different. His voice has always been his best friend. He said when he sings, it is the only time he feels "normal". When things are bad in life, he sings and it comforts him. I was in tears. I wasn't bullied much as a child, but my upbringing wasn't the most picture perfect on earth. The term "Mommy Dearest" fits quite well. I used to hole up in my room and sing sing sing. It was my comfort. I'm 44 and I've always felt different. I've never fit in. I am like Paul Potts in that when I'm on stage, I fit in. I'm normal. I'm "somebody".
Ok enough of my boohoo story.
Mr. Potts won $250,000 on Britain's Got Talent and has taken on a 1 million dollar recording contract. And he gets to perform for her majesty, the queen!
As stated in yesterday's post...
GO MAN! GO!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
He works in a shoe store????
What does this dude have to do with this blog?
He's not LeBron James, he's not Justin Timberlake, he's not...well he's not someone who was instantly successful at a young age.
He's an ordinary, shy, low confidence, not so good looking (hell, I thought he looked kinda....uh...slow?) human who works in a shoe store or some crap mundane job like the Cube Monkey has and hidden away is a talent that only he and a select few others knew about. A talent that he knows is his true passion and calling. He mentioned in an interview that when he sings, it is the only place on earth where he feels 100% comfortable in his own skin. It's where he knows he belongs. It is his dream. It has always been his dream, but for whatever reason, it was never pursued. Low confidence, bad choices or whatever the reason.
It gives me chills to know that this man will never ever have to go back to crap work again, unless he so chooses.
Not many people get that opportunity.
GO MAN! GO!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Missing You
Having to park in the North 40 and walk 50 miles to my desk.
Wearing knee-hi's and business shoes (gawd I want my tennies).
The id badge picture that makes you look like the crack whore that has
just sold her kids for drugs that you see on the front page of the news.
Orientation....Nothing says welcome to our company like 4 hours of
overly happy barbie dolls spewing bullshit.
Back to back meetings that start today....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
It is time...
I thought I wanted to work at the university. Alas, the worst run corporation on the earth would appear to be a well oiled machine compared to the university i.t. dept in this city. One would think that a place that actually teaches methodologies, organization, communication etc... would be the first place to put these ideas to use. They appear to disregard them all together. There are more useless, ridiculous politics played at the university than in Washington itself.
Politics in corporate america are common place. People play for money and power. It's stupid, but it makes sense. There is no money to be had in a public institution and the power is just gathering bodies. I don't get it.
There is one thing that I hate more than Corporate American and that would be shopping for clothes. Yes...I am a woman and I hate to shop. Alert the media.
And since I haven't worn business clothes in about 3 years, I have to shop. My lower half is about 75% bigger than my upper half which makes shopping just a breeze....NOT.
I've been a plus since since as long as I can remember, so I get to shop at places like Lane Bryant and Avenue. I don't have any issues shopping in these places. The issues that I do have with these places are their use of regular size models to attempt to make their moomoos look appealing. How they attempt to put plus size women in low riders....hello. How they charge twice as much than regular sized womens clothing stores, although I guess Abdul the tent maker "does" need compensated.
So I will shop for bidness clothes. I will dig out my briefcase thingie. My leather notepad folder thingie for meetings and on Tuesday I will head off to my new cubicle in corporate america.
I can bitch, but the bitching will be much less when we trade the hamburgers for Delmonico steaks on the grill this summer. =)
Friday, May 11, 2007
Angels in the Outfield?
About 2 weeks ago, after a kinda crappy day and about 2 glasses of wine, I just started crying. I couldn't stop crying. I walked around the house picking up, doing laundry, crying.......talking to......the air or anyone/thing that might have been listening.
I cried that I didn't want to live in this city anymore. How much I hate this area. It's cloudy and dirty and depressing. I cried that I didn't have a decent job. I cried that I was going to college studying something that I had no desire to study. I cried that I wanted things "changed". That I have the most wonderful husband and child. That I love my family, but I needed things to "change". I cried that I fucked up my gastric bypass surgery. That I felt like shit all the time. That I've gained back so much weight. I cried about how much I miss my father (died when I was 12). I cried about missing my soul mate. I talked to them as I cried as I do believe they hear me. Or hope that they do. I begged for change. I begged that if anyone was listening and if they could help this change, please do so before I lose my mind.
Fast forward....
The day after this little mental breakdown I started hyper-nutrienting again. What this means is taking gobs of vitamins and supplements, especially amino acids and enzymes that a few of us who have bothered to do research on post-op gastric bypass have come to ascertain that post-ops are severely missing these in malabsorption. When you have little to no aminos you basically turn your body into mush. And that is how I have been feeling. My brain has been mush. My body has felt like absolute shit.
I did this hyper-nutrienting about a year ago for a few weeks and felt amazing. Why I stopped, I have no clue. Probably because I couldn't afford them after my supply ran out? Probably because I am just a lazy ass. Have been all my life.
Anyhow, I noticed a change in 2 days.
In the past 2 weeks, I have taken the dogs for walks 4 times. Have tons of energy. My mood is better. I have a new job!! Paying GOOD money! Today is my last day at my job within the 7th circle of hell. I've lost 5 lbs. And I have new "fun shoes". hahahha
My brain is feeling at peace. And that's all I've wanted in the past 4 years of this descent.
So, to whomever was listening and pushed me to start hyper-nutrienting again....Thank you.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Money can't buy happiness
I finally have a real job (unofficially) after 2 years of being beyond broke!
June 1st begins operation "Get the Fuck Outta Here".
Meaning, we have lived in this city for about 15 years and have hated basically every minute.
Stranger Danger
I don't know her from Adam.
Her: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure
Her: Ok, there's this guy that I was in jail with. We wrote back and
forth to each other and became very good friends. Now we are out and
live in the same housing apartments and he follows me everywhere and
looks in my windows and sends me txt messages saying "run or hide".
Does this sound right to you?
Me: {bottom lip on the floor}......uhhh sounds a little creepy to me.
Her: Really?
Me: ummm yeah
Her: Yeah, it didn't seem right to me.
Few minutes of silence
Her: So they gave me this medicine that they said I needed for my
brain. It made me dizzy and forgetful of things so I stopped taking
it. That's ok isn't it? Nothings going to happen?
Me: I would imagine nothing will happen.
Few minutes of silence and my curiosity got the best of me, I had to ask.
Me: So what are you studying?
Her: Surgical Assisting
Me: {bottom lip now pasted to the floor}
Her: I'm already a medical assistant.
If I have to have surgery the rest of my time here in this god forsaken
city, remind me to scan the room for her, because if she is in there,
give me enough Versed so that I could care less if I die, or let me run
screaming from the room.
Aren't there laws against this kinda shit?