Time To Relax...

Today my Mother celebrates her retirement. She lives 4 hours away and I cannot be there. So here are my thoughts on this day.

A few years ago I told my Mother “the older I get, the less stupid you become”. She looked at me funny. I don’t think she quite understood what I meant by that. I think I hurt her feelings, which was not my intent. I certainly have never thought of my Mother as stupid. Quite the contrary. I’ve always thought my Mother to be a highly intelligent woman.
At the age of 35 my Mother found herself widowed with 4 children under the age of 14. Being children, we were selfish. Of course we had no clue what she was going through, nor did we attempt to try. We were used to being the center of our parents’ world. We leaned on our parents for support. My Mother and Father were used to leaning on each other for support. And then he was no longer there. Now when I look back, I am amazed. My Mother has always been a very strong woman, but I can’t even imagine going through what she endured and lives to tell the tale.
We were not horrible children, but I know we were pretty rotten to her the majority of the time. As she was trying to digest the loss of her husband and raise 4 kids on her own, we were busy being kids and not understanding the major curve ball that life had thrown her way.
Through all of this, my Mother continued to do as she had always done. She got up every morning and she went to work. I have never known my Mother not to have a job. I have never known my Mother to give less than 120% in her work. Some jobs she loved. Some she hated. But she always gave her all. Her work ethic is stronger than anyone I have ever known.
My comment to my Mother was in regard to what I learned by watching her through the tough times growing up. She didn’t know it then, just as I didn’t know it then, but she was teaching me many valuable life lessons.
As I hit certain points in my life, I can look back and have those “ah ha” moments and I am humbled and can understand.
Marriage, the birth of my son, worrying about health and money, trying to have a life of my own, trying to be successful in a job. All of these things my Mother has experienced. Now I can understand some of the things she went through and with every “ah ha” moment, my respect and gratitude for her grows even deeper.
My brothers, sister and I thankfully didn’t turn out to be murderers or knocking over liquor stores, but we didn’t always follow the right path in life. Sometimes we would start down a good path, just to take a bad turn, for whatever reason. But my Mother was always there for us. Her love never waivered.
In the end, I think we turned out ok. My older brother is an OSHA Manager. My younger sister is a Medical Assistant. My younger brother is an AutoCAD Operator, and I am an IT Security Analyst. All of us…get up in the morning and we go to work. From what I can tell, we all give 120% in our jobs. We do our best when we love it. We do our best when we hate it. And there is only one place we could have learned such a work ethic. And that would be from our Mother.
Although we joke wondering what she will do with herself not working her usual 60 hour weeks, on this day of celebrating my Mothers retirement, I can think of no one on this earth that deserves to sit back, relax, and enjoy life more than my Mom.

Kindergarten vs. High School

So I've been reading this blog lately by this crazy little Indian woman in North Carolina (Hi Ilina!).
Her post yesterday made me think about something similar that I was going to write about regarding my day yesterday.
If you don't have time to read her post, in a nutshell, she took her little boy to his first day of Kindergarten.
I missed my son's first day of kindergarten 9 years ago. I was not able to get off of work. My husband took him and filmed the entire thing, including the almost mile walk. =)
I'm not sure if I'm thankful I missed it or not, although I think I cried just as hard because I "did" miss it.
Yesterday I took my son to his first day of High School. He was VERY nervous. I'm sure he was scared, although he kept saying he wasn't.
When I was his age, we lived in a rural area. Our High School had maybe 1400 kids in the school. My graduating class was a whopping 329 students and that was BIG for that school. The school was one level and sat in the middle of a cornfield.
When we went for orientation last week was when MY fear kicked in. My sons' school is an inner city school. 4 levels. I couldn't even tell you how many kids attend. Police and security guards walk the halls. I'm surprised they are not wanded and frisked by the TSA as they walk through the doors. Although I am thankful for all this security since my son was jumped last school year by some gangster wanna-be's.
As we walked the halls last week, I was wide-eyed. Amazed at the size of the building. Anxiety kicking me in the ass at every turn.
The other thing that was kicking me was realizing that this is the beginning of his major growing up. This is where he begins to decide what he wants to do in life. Where he begins to prepare for college. Where he will start to become a man. Again with the mortality crap. I am not aging gracefully.
My co-worker whom is in her 50's tells me that getting to the point of accepting your mortality is a long and very painful process, but once you get there, is really wonderful. It's that point in a womans life that all these women authors write about....re-inventing yourself. I remember telling my co-worker, "well, it sucks and I just reeeeally wish it would be over with". She laughed.
So, I worried all day, thinking about him standing in the middle of bustling hallways, looking at his schedule, looking at room numbers, getting lost, getting overwhelmed and his eyes welling up with those big tears. I worried as to whether he had someone to eat lunch with. Hoping he would meet up with some of his buds from middle school. My son is very much like me and doesn't have a big group of friends.
Arriving home from work I was excited to ask him about his day. After the conversation, my fears were squashed.
Me: So how was your first day of High School?
G: Good
M: Well, what happened?
G: Nothing
M: Did you find all your classes?
G: Yes
M: How was Chinese class (he was very excited that he got to choose Chinese)
G: Fine
M: Gee, can you elaborate a little on your first day of school?
G: (chuckle)
The end...

If you've never read the cartoon Zits, you should....

My Life in 6 Words

So I guess I've been tagged by Dirt and Noise.
I won't be tagging anyone since Dirt and Noise and an occasional stray are my reading audience. lol

So my life in 6 words:
1. midlife
2. wife
3. mother
4. hopeful
5. humorous
6. successful

hmmm...looks better than I thought! hahaha

More pics from the Alpaca farm

Farmer Joe? Looks thrilled don't he? It had rained like a snot that day and the Alpaca poo was schlicker than a wet booooger. He was NOT happy to be there...


Can't say as I blamed him.

This was taken last weekend. These are the "girls". They were in a front pasture. I stopped. They stared. End of story.

GDog Gets a Job

My son is only 14 years old, but when a co-worker mentioned that a local Alpaca Farm owner was looking for someone to uhhhh...clean up the uuuuuh poop, I raised my hand. I call him my little Alpaca Pooper Scooper now. hahahha Actually I think he's been liking it.











I've seen Alpaca's before, but had never spent a significant amount of time with them. Turns out they are very gentle, intelligent, curious creatures. And VERY soft.











This is Kalfa the guard dog. That is her job, it is what she was bred and trained to do. Guard the Alpaca's. She is of a some sort of turkish breed and Kalfa means "assistant" in turkish.











They stare a alot. They are very skiddish. They come to you on their own terms.















I love this little (?) girl. I mean, look at that "do". And the fluffs of fur coming from the ears. hahaha

















I was sitting on a stump near these gals, hoping they would come up to me. This one did and I was waiting for her to spit at me. Yes, they spit, but only when they are mad. Thankfully, Alpaca's don't get mad often. Thankfully, she was just being curious. lol










This is the new baby. She was only 5 weeks old at the time of this picture. She weighed 27 lbs at birth. Surprisingly the Alpaca's really don't weight as much as they look. It's mostly their fur or "fiber" as they call it. This baby's mom weighed about 120 lbs at the time of this baby's birth. Think of that in human terms. If you weighed 120 lbs and had a 27 lb baby. ummmm ouch?




Another pic of da baby. The owner grabbed her and let us touch her. Unbeeelievably soft! Turns out that Alpaca fiber products are becoming increasingly popular. Sweaters go for upwards of $400. Why? Because they are softer than cashmere. The fiber is hypoallergenic because it contains no lanolin like wool does. It is 10 times warmer than wool. A pair of socks will run you about $10. Also, because the Alpaca's are still fairly rare in the U.S. There are only about 100,000 of them.


So, while the GDog does the pooper scooping, I've been sitting in my car enjoying my surroundings doing Algebra homework. Turns out the setting is good for the Cube Monkey to study. I occassionally stop and take in the clean air (much cleaner than our city dwelling) and breath deep the smell of hay. I reeeally miss the country. I really miss having farm animals. We had sheep and a few other animals growing up. I miss 4H and FFA and going to the fair every year. Funny how smells bring back so many memories.

I'm schliding...I'm schliding...

It is my complete and utter opinion that adult learners (30 and over) are forced to take Algebra in order to weed people out of the education system. Seriously...I have met so many people who say that Algebra was the reason they dropped out of college!

I find it very strange that so many people didn't/won't finish college because of a subject that they will 99.9% NOT use in the rest of their lifetime.

Cook Out!

Last nite my BFF and I got together for a cookout while her hubby and my hubby were hangin together at "their" house. This was our dinner! Chicky 'bobs and some veggie concoction that me bff whips up that is totally awesome!











In attendance was my bff's granddaughter, so I made sure that I had the proper backyard fun for her. This friggen scary frog pool! She wouldn't get in it, but threw everything (including my shoes) into it. hahahah That's ok, I don't blame her, the damn thing IS scary.









The previous nite my son and I were blowing this pool up and this made me chuckle! I mean, come on, look at the pool....the water doesn't even come up to the ankles. I'm guessing the signage is meant for small animals? bugs? The same people who need the same signage that says to remove the suppository from the foil before inserting? The same folks that need to know NOT to use an electrical appliance in the bathtub?





After all was said and done, and everyone was gone, my son and I enjoyed a nice fire that he created for marshmallow roastin to which we discovered someone had thrown away the marshmallows.
No harm no foul, we sat on the swing and enjoyed each others company. That's a rarity with a 14 year old. =)

College Algebra and Martini's

What do they have in common?
Well, other than college Algerber making me want to drink a martini and then shove the olive pik in my eye.....umm....nothing really.

Ignorance

Well now, this is just stupid...
http://www.newsnet5.com/news/16955865/detail.html

A few stooopid owners ruin if for the good ones.

Love,
Petey

The ultimate slap in the face...

Where I work, we have a pretty good cafeteria. They have a mean cheeseburger.
The hubby had a total knee replacement back in May and has been on medical leave and enjoying the summer with our 14 year old son.
A lot of folks. who have experienced it, had warned us that recovery from a total knee replacement is a very slow and painful process. We were prepared.
Well, he blew through the first 2 weeks of therapy in the short 4 days he was in the hospital. He finished up the remaining weeks of therapy the first 2 weeks he was home.
He's been walking 4 to 7 miles a day. The doctor said he is at the place in recovery that most folks aren't at until 6 months out. He looks rested and content. bastard.
So I invite my husband and son to join me for lunch at my place of employment yesterday.
I might mention that my husband is a VERY good looking man anyhow. He also has gorgeous jet black silky hair with about 3 grays. And NO hair loss.
We order our food and hit the checkout line, I don't know the cashiers name, but she is always nice and we always exchange pleasantries. I say "I brought the family in today".
Her response? "ohhh how nice (pointing to my husband), is this your oldest?".........

Meanwhile, back on the Corporate America farm...

Nielsen oursources to India

Corporate America is what is wrong with the U.S today....

ID10T

I'm an Information Security Professional by trade. I rarely use the ID10T error funny because it's just downright cheezy and degrading. After all, we ALL were new at everything at one point, except Matthew McConaughey, he was born just downright gorgeous, ehem....anyhow I read quite a few security blogs a coupla mornings a week to stay caught up on things. Once in a while you come across something so believable, yet unbelievable at the same time.

Amusing Moment On a Train

Author: Dave Lewis
June 16, 2008 at 5:39 am · Filed under Dumbass

I have these moments when I get to ride the train where I see and hear some of the oddest things. Last week I was riding the train when I heard this guy in the car behind me exclaim “ah crap” and begin dialing his cell phone.

“Uh hi honey, sorry to wake you. Could you login to my email for me?”

Ah, the fun begins I thought.

“OK, my user name is [REDACTED] and my password is [REDACTED]”

Sigh, some folks just don’t get it. But, it gets better.

“No sweetie, that’s for my Gmail account”

Score.

At this point I glance around the train to see that I wasn’t the only person that found this fella’s call amusing. There were smirks to be seen. Then this takes a darker turn, for him at least.

“Now, sweetie I’ll need you to order a wireless router from [REDACTED] and my credit card number is 5, 5…

He proceeded to read out the entire number with expiry date and CVN. I was a little worried for the guy at this point. But, I guess Darwin was right. Then I heard a woman’s voice utter, “jackass”. I glanced up to see a little old lady shaking her head as she looked at the loud talker in disgust. A smile crept across my face.

I think what is the funniest AND the scariest about this true story is that the guy is probably a Network Administrator or something for some big company. hahahha

I'm all Aleve!

After taking on a rhododendron overgrown so badly it could ring the doorbell, 2 shrubs that looked like Don King on a bad hair day = much Aleve for the Cube Monkey this beautiful, sunny Monday morn.

Crazy Ass Drivers

Ever notice how those with the most religious stickers on the back of their car drive the slowest? One would think they would feel the safest. no?

thank GOD

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/06/12/marine.puppy/index.html

Not much disturbs or shocks me these days, but when humans do shit like this, I just have a very hard time wrapping my head around it. Especially humans that are in a position where they are "expected" to protect the innocent.

The GOOD thing is that his life is fucked ... for a "few" years anyways. =)

The Cube Monkey - Fashion Magnet

I've always owned about 3 pairs of shoes (tennis shoe, dress shoe and sandal). And I usually buy them at payless. My most recent shoe splurge was on generic Crocs that I bought at CVS for $7. Hey, I'm all about comfort! This practically sends my mother in law into a coronary. She owns about 80 pairs of shoes and none cost below $50.
So, I made my mother in law proud the other nite.
I needed new pants, so I headed off to the local mall after work. After spending WAY too much money at Lane Bryant, I headed over to Game Stop. Well, it was right across the hall! And I needed a new game for my DS. Then I started walking out and off to my left was a shoe store much like a shoe carnival or such. I have been looking for a good comfy pair of tennis shoes so that I could start working out again. Didn't find anything......
BUT...what I DID find made me utter words that I don't believe have ever, or at least, I have never allowed them to escape my lips "those shoes are just TOO cute for words and I HAVE to have them!"


And have them I did! Although I gagged momentarily at the price tag ($60), they are more comfy than any shoe I have ever owned and they look good with casual dress/work pants.
SCORE!

Too much death...

I feel like Phoebe on friends when she is shooing the bad karma/vibes away from her body with her hands when I think about how I feel right now.
Too much death this month. Too many bad feelings. I hate when I feel "off". And that is what death does for me. It makes me feel unsettled. Like the world isn't right.
A close friend of the family died last nite. He was my brothers best friend since they were like in kindergarten. He was 47. It was expected, but then again, death always shocks. He was suffering greatly from the ravages of cancer, so I try to look at it as he hopefully won't have to suffer anymore.

No Hope?

and I quote an email.... "She had been spiraling downward for the last two years – depression, etc. XXX committed suicide. No hope left in her. She left notes for her family. Very sad. "

No hope? jesus christ..that's all we have in life is "hope". No hope?...................... "why"?

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?????? YOU KNOW I WOULD HAVE COME...

Shock and Awe

I live in a different city than I grew up. So about twice a week I will go out to my hometown newspaper website and "catch up". At my age, I also read the obits.
Imagine my shock when the first name that popped up on the obit page was a gal that I was best friends with for about 10 years. We were inseparable.
We parted ways about 6 years ago. It was hard remaining close whilst living in different cities. Also, we both changed. I married, she didn't, but desperately wanted to. I had a child, she didn't, but desperately wanted one. I had gastric bypass and she was totally against it. More and more as we got together a coupla times a year, our conversations were filled with conflict.
Over the past few years I have been "maturing", hitting that age where you think about what matters and what doesn't. I thought about this gal many times and the stoopidity of our conflicts. I thought about all the wonderful times we spent together. There are very few people on this earth that I can sit and talk with and never run out of things to say and not bore the living hell out of me. After 10 or so years of friendship, we could still sit for 24 hours and just b.s. about everything and anything.
She was alot of fun, she had an infectious laugh, she was very smart, etc... and I missed her.
I attempted to contact her twice over the past year. She never responded. I guess we were beyond repair.
I don't know what killed her. All signs point to suicide, but I don't know.
Whatever it was, I am saddened more than I could ever imagine.

Choices

It's 7:35 a.m. and I wanted to write a new post, as I've been wanting lately to put more effort into my blog. Alas, I have school work that should have been done Thursday nite.
So since my bff and I are going shopping for a futon this afternoon and then pickling our brains with a little of this:









and this:




Whilst we do this:



Being 45 years old, I guess I have to take the high road and complete my assignments.